Monday, October 14, 2013

Good News - It Is, In Fact, All About You.

As many of you know I have something of a man crush on Elliot Hulse. Personally I like to believe that he's a kindred spirit, a like minded individual genuinely trying to help people become the best versions of themselves. I'm also a huge fan of anyone who can deadlift a couple hundred pounds while quoting everyone from Walt Whitman to Aristotle. He put up a video this morning, the title was ostensibly referring to CrossFit but the real subject of the video, to me anyway, was a topic I come across all the time. He was responding to a question about why, when someone who follows every tenet of a particular program to the letter, do they not always look like the people who created the program? In other words...why doesn't every dedicated CrossFitter look like Rich Froning and why doesn't every one who undertakes p90x come out looking like Tony Horton?

Elliot goes on at some length about genetics and puts forth the notion that those people were going to resemble that no matter what they did because they are who they are. Rich Froning looks like he does because he's Rich Froning, not because he does CrossFit. I think this is a totally valid assertion that a lot of us ignore because it's incredibly unfair. It's very difficult to tell ourselves that we can never achieve exactly what someone else has simply because we aren't them. In some ways it's almost un-American and very antithetical to the cult of the individual that I believe is so pervasive in our culture these days. "What do you mean I can't accomplish anything I want? As long as I work hard and keep at it the sky's the limit right?"
The only thing this picture is missing is a unicorn.

Well, yes and no. The sky is the limit within your given genetic potential. That is to say, you're only "limited" insofar as you decide you are. Is it really "limiting" to acknowledge that as a 5'8" female with genetics that lean towards the heavy side, you'll never be as good at basketball as Michael Jordan? You might be able to deadlift 500lbs with that kind of frame or you could be an olympic track athlete given the right training. Realistically, even those situations would make you a genetic outlier. Unfortunately the bell curve is a real thing. You can let that be diminishing if you want or you can let it be kinda awesome.

Reach for the sky is still a great (if generic) ideal. I'm not saying you should just get complacent and accept a life of mediocrity. I'm saying part of becoming the best version of yourself is taking advantage of your inherent genetic dispositions. I mean, if you love dancing despite the fact that you're 6'2" and pushing three hundo, far be it from me to tell you to chase a different passion. All I would say is that a funny thing about us humans, we find we tend to get passionate about the things we're good at. It feels right.

People have different names for it: flow states, transcendent moments, religious experiences. While these are ultimately different ideas I think they all speak to a similar idea; that in certain moments we are so close to the limits of our experience, so close to the fulfillment of our potential that we experience something beyond our normal perspective. You can get pretty esoteric with the idea like those marathon monks who run until they trip out in an attempt to experience enlightenment or you can look at it under a more simple light. It's what athletes mean when they say they're "in the zone." They're operating on a heightened wavelength where their entire being is perfectly in sync and everything just seems to work.

So Aristotle, despite having existed in ancient Greece, had some notions that were pretty cool and a couple that were pretty scientifically profound considering what he had to work with. One of the ideas he wrote about was how a living thing "expresses" its nature. He felt that in many ways the expression of a thing's nature is the purpose of its existence.  If you take that idea and apply it to our understanding of genetics then I think you can see what I'm getting at and maybe what Aristotle was as well. Our genetics are what they are when we're born and as of right now there's no way to really change that. What we do have control over is how those genes are expressed. You may not have the genes to be the next Rich Froning, but you can express the ever-loving shit out of the genes you do have.

While I'm on the topic of genetic differences I want to address something I've been thinking about lately. We oftentimes take liberties with advice people give us. We're all guilty. I know I am. It's one of the ways we justify choices, particularly when some part of us already knows we're wrong. While it is totally valid to recognize that each individual is different and what works for one person may not work for others, oftentimes people draw this out to some pretty absurd conclusions.

A mistake I often see people make when they're first getting into working out is not following a plan of any kind. Or, really, the issue is people who are following a "plan" and have no real idea of what it is they're doing or why. Frequently when you ask them why they're doing something, these people will respond along the lines of, "I don't know but it works for me. I've been seeing progress." There's some validity in it if you've been seeing progress but the truth is that if you've only been working out for a little while (less than a year) doing anything will help you progress. Even if you've been "working out" for a year, fitness is specific; if you started running a year ago but you just start lifting today, it still holds that pretty much any lifting regimen (unless you've got the terminal fuckarounditis) is going to make you progress because it's a new stimulus.

So, it's true that we all have different potentials and that we all respond differently to different types of training. It's also true that in the early stages you can see progress just by moving more and eating less. All I'm saying is that if you're serious about your attempts to become bigger, stronger and faster and you're already putting in the time, why wouldn't you want to do it in the best/most efficient way possible? There are absolutely many different definitions of fitness that are all totally valid but within each of those realms there are legitimate and tested methods of improving each aspect of your physical performance. The recognition that everyone needs an approach specific to their individual needs is meant to help you refine your scientific process, not disregard it entirely and use it as an excuse for lazy training. I'm all for winging it and using ambiguously defined programming, but I still believe in having a plan. If you don't have some kind of plan then you're not really working towards any measurable goal. It's really hard to accomplish something when you're not trying to.
That's all for today. Do some research. Have a plan that's proven. Try different things until you find something your body seems receptive to. Be willing to let go of unrealistic goals particularly when the things that are within your grasp are still pretty awesome in their own right.

Now disregard everything I just said and go lift something heavy.

Good luck and good lifting.


Monday, October 7, 2013

Breaking Bad: The Death (and Hopefully Rebirth) of the American Dream

I recently binge-watched the entirety of the AMC television series "Breaking Bad." I have a confession: I went into it wanting to hate it. I did, can't deny it. This is a fact that will hardly surprise many of you, particularly those that know me well. I have an instinctive, knee-jerk revulsion to certain types of popularity and while I staunchly maintain that I am not a "hipster" of any kind, I am at least mature enough to acknowledge the childish defensiveness inherent in that response. I can't lie, when I was younger I was big into LotR (Lord of the Rings for you fantasy n00bs) and when Harry Potter came out I hated it. The Harry Potter series is brilliantly written, imaginative and in its own way very original but to my sixteen year old ego all it represented was a derivative work, something inferior to what I loved and yet was considered "nerdy" for liking while Harry Potter wasn't just popular, it was cool - the high school colloquial antithesis of nerdy. That was hardly the last time I've felt that way. Inception was a great movie but again, when it came out, a huge part of me was frustrated. People thought that it was a little weird that I minored in philosophy and kind of rolled their eyes at me when I wanted to engage in discussions about the nature of perception. Then the guy who directed the new Batman trilogy comes out with an action film - 'cuz let's face it, that's what it was - that's dark and fuckin' edgy and all of a sudden everyone with a movie stub is an armchair philosopher.

Look, I get it. Any time you're passionate about something to the point that you begin to engage the fringes of that particular interest, you're going to end up feeling like I have - it's a lot of the reason for the whole "hipster" concept. I'm sure millions of people have felt this way about whatever particular passion it is that gets them all hot and bothered. I can still recognize that it's great when something different (at the time) like a Harry Potter or an Inception becomes popular because it exposes the main stream to something new and hopefully thought provoking. In this way, despite my own bizarro insecurities and concurrent frustrations, popularity can be an incredibly positive tool because it gives you the attention of the populace. 

Take CrossFit for example. Something I've said any number of times is that hate it or love it, CrossFit has the attention of the fitness community right now and in a lot of ways the attention of the population at large. Despite the things that CF could improve on (because nothing's perfect) there is a huge amount to be said for the trickle-down effects of CF. Equipment is cheaper and more available There's now a huge and growing movement in the community to understand and focus on mechanics. CrossFit is making extreme fitness cool and even though it may not be for everyone it's popularity is causing a paradigm shift in the overall thinking about fitness. Personally, I gotta believe a culture making health popular is beneficial to everyone and therefore worthy of me canning my knee-jerk, popularity induced reaching for an economy sized jug of haterade. Having said that I hope you can begin to understand why the popularity of Breaking Bad, a show about a borderline-sociopathic meth-cooking murderer  represents a beast of an entirely different nature. 

I think that for you guys to understand where I'm coming from it might first be helpful to try to elucidate my feelings on the concept of story and storytelling. You see, stories are kind of my thing. They are as human an impulse as stargazing and tree climbing.  They are as important to our existence as breathing. The truth of the matter is that simply put existence, our reality, is story. 

We often take for granted that this thing that we all collectively refer to as "reality" is some sort of concrete, externally existing thing. We call it reality because we assign to it some sort of inherent "real"-ness. It is outside of us and therefore not subject to our internal psychological turmoil. Regardless of what we see, think, feel or believe, reality is immutable. The problem with this foundational assumption is pretty simple. Whatever this "reality" thing happens to be we only have an indirect relationship with it. It's entirely possible that it is, in fact, inherently  real and concrete but we aren't exactly equipped to ever know that. What I'm saying is that what we commonly refer to as "reality" is something quite different. I'm going to have to ask you to willingly suspend your disbelief for a moment and just come with me on this little thought experiment. It's a fundamental philosophical principle and, in my opinion, a pretty f*cking cool idea. 

Consider the fact that we interact with the world external to our own consciousness through our senses. Our experience of reality is a construct: we see, hear, feel, taste and smell things and our minds assemble all of that information together into this thing that we all call "reality." Seeing as everyone's senses function to different degrees and in different ways (and in the case of the deaf or blind, some do not function at all) I think we can all agree that everyones sensory experience or "reality" must therefore necessarily be different. Then, on top of the simple sensory aspects, consider the way our assumptions about how the world works color the way we perceive daily events. Think about how different your perception of two things could be simply if you were in a good or bad mood. A short text message from a loved one ("K." for example) might be perceived in two wildly different ways dependent not on their intention but your reception of the message. 

Our brains are incredibly good at offering us explanations for things when we want them. At it's best, this impulse is what gave rise to mythology, early religion and then scientific inquiry as different modes of understanding the world around us. At it's worst, it gave rise to a host of anxieties and misunderstandings, chief among them the concept of racism: the idea that through a series of "scientific" or "real" observations, the completely nonexistent inferiority of a people is conclusively demonstrated. Look, guys, we're all looking at the same stuff here. It is at the very least true that we're all on the same world. Even so, we're clearly all experiencing it in very different ways. So you tell me, which version is the real one? Even when you consider your own memories of your past, they don't represent exactly what occurred. They're a kind of mental imprint or reflection; they're the story of those events as your mind decided to record them.  

This "reality" thing that we all covet is nothing more than a story. Thing is, it's not just story; it's the story. It's what separates us from the animals, self awareness, the awareness of our own personal narrative. In a way we are all meta - aware that we are characters in a story: our story. It is every bit as important to recognize that often what we refer to as "reality" is just an aspect of our personal narrative as it is to recognize that despite the existence of seven billion different personal narratives, true reality is still a distinct thing. In other words, you can believe pigs fly in your head all you want and in your own internal personal narrative that may be true but no matter how hard you believe it, pigs will never simply begin to fly because they do so in your head. This does, then, bring into question the ideas of collective consciousness and the power of collective belief but that's something that I could go on about for far too long. 

So what the f*ck does this have to do with Breaking Bad? Good question, glad you asked.  Breaking Bad is one of the most brilliant and brilliantly told stories I'm personally familiar with. I might even go so far as to say it's the best show that has ever been on television (for...whatever that's worth). At its core Breaking Bad is so fundamentally American it f*cking hurts. No, seriously. Breaking Bad is such a quintessentially American story that it makes me f*cking hate all of us.

Let me explain.

First off I want to say that I'm aware that there is a gigantic subculture of Breaking Bad die-hards who've speculated, investigated and blogged the ever living f*ck out of every aspect of this show. I'm not one of those people. I apologize in advance if I'm missing something or if I get anything "wrong." This is just what I saw when I watched the show. 

To me Breaking Bad is ultimately a story about the american dream. Is starts out with a man who has a career, a home and a family. As in most cases, appearances are not everything and underneath the thin sheen of Walter White's fading dream are the ever present reminders that often things aren't as good as they sound. His career is an unfulfilling job as a high school chemistry teacher where he has long since given up any hope of making a difference and instead complacently drawls and scrawls away his classes. His wife is a character who vacillates between justified suspicion and anger to broken complicity to her husbands more sinister whims. She is, in fact, so nasty to Walt on such a regular basis that a humorous drinking game for the earlier seasons was to drink every time Skyler was a bitch. I'm personally of the opinion that she was fully within her rights to be so nasty to him but the point remains. Their relationship is far from ideal. His son has cerebral palsy and his daughter, at the beginning of the series, is unborn and as such they both represent an extreme financial drain, yet another issue weighing down Walt's mind. On top of all of this he discovers he has cancer and likely only a few months left to live.

Some American Dream. 

All I've really described is the set up for the show. The show itself of course, the story is about Walt's transformation from a spineless chemistry recitation drone into a somewhat successful drug kingpin although personally I would say both his success and his status as a kingpin at any time in the series are highly debatable. In the spirit of not ruining anything for people who haven't seen it I can't address the specifics of the show that much but I also don't really need to. The set up for the show gives us a somewhat fading version of an older american dream but the story of Breaking Bad gives us the real thing; the genuine article. Breaking Bad is a story about a man seizing his destiny. It's a story about a character who forces himself to change and adapt to overcome increasingly adverse situations. We witness an incredibly deftly handled and organic transformation of Walter White's life and it revolves entirely around something a lot of us consider to be intrinsically american: the idea that a man who works hard and never gives up can, through his own sheer force of will, accomplish whatever it is that he wants to accomplish. I mean... that's what happens. That's an entirely accurate description of the events contained within the main plot arc of the series. The problem is that another entirely accurate description of Breaking Bad is that it is the story of one man's descent into the pits of everything selfish and terrible about humanity...and that's it. One of the greatest parts of Breaking Bad is that it tries to be very, brutally real and as such never attempts to tie things off in nice neat little bows. This is a story about awful people doing awful things to each other and leading awful lives. There is very little good to be found anywhere and yet, as I said before, it's still an entirely accurate depiction of what a lot of people would consider the American Dream. That's kind of f*cked up, right?

I was raised on a steady diet of superheroes and knights in shining armor. Like I said, LotR was my jam. The stories that informed my childhood revolved around characters that did selfless things simply because they were right. I would love to say that I embody the moral sensibilities that I was so enveloped in during my developmental years but just like anyone else I'm only human. Stories are important to us in so many different ways and one of the most important is that they are instructive. We use stories to teach. Morals are one of the most difficult human concepts and something that I think we all struggle with. They are also an incredibly difficult thing to teach to children or really anyone because of their nebulous nature. Even so, we've been teaching morals or at least trying to through the use of stories for as long as we've been capable of putting words and images together in any form. Mythology, fables, religious texts, these things are all stories that our cultures use to impart values to their members. They become the assumptions at the foundations of our stories, the rules of our own internal narratives. Our own stories, whether consciously or not, begin to resemble the stories we choose to immerse ourselves in. You can probably see where I'm going with this. I'm not trying to say that we all need to read more comics and genre fiction. Unfortunately from a literary or artistic quality standpoint most of those stories I so loved as a child are as about as comparable to Breaking Bad as a wooden rocking horse is to a thoroughbred stallion. Breaking Bad is substantially more real or at the very least evokes much more real emotional responses. That's kind of my problem with it, I think. 

I've tried explaining this idea to a handful of people and frequently the response I get is a very emotionally charged, "dude, relax. It's just a TV show." Fair. I get really riled up about things so I'm sorry. Still, though, "it's just a TV show," isn't a good defense for something so morally reprehensible. I'm not saying Breaking Bad is going to turn us into a nation of meth cooks (although apparently the quality of meth has skyrocketed since the shows first airing) the same way that playing Grand Theft Auto won't turn us all into multiple felons. What I'm trying to draw attention to is the present cultural underpinnings that both enable Breaking Bad to be so popular and what makes it so painfully relevant. 

The Internet age has been a complex thing with complex influences. Some would say it has greatly increased our ability to share information and communicate. Others would acknowledge that it has certainly changed the way we exchange information, but that some of these changes may not necessarily be positive. Social media is a great example of this.

The story of FaceBook is, in some ways, similar to the story of Breaking Bad. On the surface we have what appears to be something revolutionary, an opportunity to communicate with thousands of people all over the world in the blink of an eye. Sounds great, the same way the american dream sounds great at the beginning of Breaking Bad when not put under too much of a microscope. Of course, in reality social media is at it's best useful but often really weird and at it's worst downright petty and often incredibly vain (For our current purposes we're going to ignore the humorously relevant fact that I'm using a social media-like platform to allow you to read my self important rant about the cultural significance of a sunday night television program. Shut up.) You see most of us don't really use FB to communicate in a genuine way, we use it to tell a story: the story of what we want everyone to think our life is. You get to highlight the aspects of your personal narrative you want others to care about and completely ignore any of the stuff you'd rather they didn't know. Again, I'm hardly saying that everyone who uses FaceBook is a narcissistic self serving-ass, simply pointing out that if everyone, myself included, were to go back and look at their FB timelines it would present a very specific version of who you are; one particular aspect of your story. Maybe what's important for you is how many obstacle races you've run or letting everyone know how much you know about fitness or philosophy or popular culture. Maybe you just want to post photos of your vacations or your wedding. Your social media presence tells a story about you and perhaps most interestingly, it gives you a kind of control over what story is told.

The problem with this is that while we are absolutely in control of how our story is told, it shifts the focus of where the control lies. You decide how your story is told by deciding how it is written. Once written, you do not then get to decide, control and manage exactly how your story is retold. Culturally there are a whole slew of things that gave rise to this kind of thinking. Maybe it was the entitlement generation crap or the fact that we were all told that we're special and that we should all believe that we can not only do whatever we want but that every single one of us deserves to have all of our hopes and dreams fulfilled. Honestly I think you can attribute a lot of it to the things American culture is based on: individualism and capitalism. I'm a big fan of both of those things. I might even say I'm a rabid libertarian. Once again, my point is not to say that these things are bad. My point is that these days, we're getting their stories all wrong.

Individualism recognizes that we are all humans and as such we are invested with certain inalienable rights. Capitalism recognizes and systematizes the simple concept that incentives drive economics. Okay, that's cool stuff. I'm down. I just don't think that's the story we're telling these days. These days it's more like Individualism means if I'm born luckier than you genetically or socially then go f*ck yourself because I'm better than you and capitalism means that if I'm rich and in power then I'm entitled to do everything in my ability to keep myself rich and in power. The idea that we are so important that we can alter reality through sheer force of will has become so culturally pervasive that we can sell ourselves some really heady bullshit. You guys remember that "we are the 1%" letter that douche bag on wall street sent out during the whole Occupy Wall Street debacle? That guy was able to convince himself that the disparity in wealth in our country is entirely due to the fact that people like him in his industry are just better and more hard working than everyone else. Sure buddy, the only reason you have millions of dollars and three houses on three different beaches is because it's the natural order of things and that makes it okay. That's a really interesting story you've managed to sell yourself and unfortunately there seems to be a lot of people who want to agree with you. 

One aspect of Breaking Bad's brilliance is its relevance to our times. As I say, Breaking Bad is the story of a man pursuing the American Dream and carpe-ing the f*ck out of his diem. In doing so he also ruins the lives of everyone and everything he's ever cared about. Breaking Bad is the story of a man in denial, a man who's own personal narrative is in direct conflict with his reality. Walt keeps telling himself over and over that he's doing what he does for his family. It's actually one of the show's most popular soundbites. "Everything I do, I do for my family." Sure, Walt. Whatever you have to tell yourself. I think we all on some level recognize that denial can be destructive but Breaking Bad can be seen as an incredibly poignant cautionary tale. Walt is in such intense denial that he enables himself to ruin pretty much everything. He is brilliant and hard working and innovative (much as the aforementioned 1%er claimed himself and his compatriots to be) but he is also painfully selfish and self serving. His refusal to give up his pursuit of the american dream no matter how detrimental to everyone he cares about is worthy of reproach, not praise of any kind. Heisenberg? Heisenberg isn't some badass. He's just a petty old man in a stupid hat who doesn't know when to call it quits.

Walt may have seen the error in his ways but to a large degree it was too little too late. The damage was done. There was no way to fix everything he'd broken, but he could try to do something. He realized the story he'd told himself was bullshit and decided he was going to write a different ending, one where he could use his resources to do what little help he could, regardless of how it would affect him.

Breaking Bad is a story about awful people doing awful things all the while telling themselves some kind of story that makes their petty, self serving actions not just acceptable but entirely justified. Breaking Bad is at its heart the story of us, the story of Americans, who have so thoroughly and entirely deluded ourselves into believing the darker side of the negative dream that we're able to sell ourselves on the lies that have brought us to where we are.

Torn economy. Broken healthcare. Corrupt Politicians. Government shutdown. Right now we're the United States of Walter White and we're careening headlong into a really bad place. I guess the question now is what do we do? Do we step back and slow our roll? Do we try to fix the things that are so obviously and hideously broken by reining in the darker aspects of ourselves? Or do we just keep letting our selfishness run wild all the while selling ourselves on the narrative that it's simply truth, justice and the American Way?

What story do you want to tell?

Good Luck and Good Lifting.